Childhood neglect led pastor to porn addiction later in life By: Pastor Sathiya Sam

Childhood neglect led pastor to porn addiction later in life By: Pastor Sathiya Sam

By Sathiya Sam Founder of DeepClean™

The truth about permanent freedom from pornography – By Sathiya Sam 

Fifteen years later and I was still drowning in the shame of a terrible porn habit.

I figured if I installed a few internet filters, found accountability partners and made a few high-stakes promises to God, my behavior would change in no time.

Each one came up short.

Free for a couple of days, then another slip.

Free for a week, saw something triggering on social media, slip again.

Free for a month, one weak moment, back to square one.

My ministry and personal life were falling apart. Being a Christian who struggles with

pornography was difficult enough, but now I was pastoring a church.

The stakes were higher. So was the shame.

Then, I made an important discovery that changed everything.

It turns out, my approach to getting free was all wrong.

Everything I tried up until that point focused on the external .

Device usage, web screening, behaviour modification, trigger management, the list

goes on. On the outside, it looked like I was doing all of the right things to get free.

But the real problem was internal .

Porn is fake connection. In my situation, it was medicine for feelings of neglect. But

medication is not the same as a cure. Medications treat the symptoms of the problem,

cures treat the cause once and for all.

It’s kind of like taking a lawnmower to a patch of weeds.

The yard looks clean for about a day.

Then the weeds grow back. Thicker and pricklier.

That’s what I was doing with my behaviour. I was cutting the weeds instead of uprooting them. No wonder I was going around in circles!

When you overemphasize the external and undervalue the internal, cycles are

inevitable.

As long as I only dealt with the behaviour, and not the root issues, I was bound to keep

struggling. I had to address the heart of the matter.

And while that’s nice theory, it’s not exactly the most fun practically. Who wants to open up the deepest parts of their core identity and explore the insecurities, pride and vulnerabilities that have been festering?

Surely there is an easier way?!

Well… if there is, I haven’t found it yet.

But here’s what I can say – as soon as I started dealing with my belief system,

everything began to change. I experienced more freedom in a month than I had in

years.

I started to think clearly. My emotions stabilized. I made better decisions. And I was

resisting temptation with greater ease!

I felt confident. Shameless. Clean.

All because I finally focused on the roots of the problem.

What were my roots?

Root problems are unique to the individual. In my case, I discovered that I had felt

neglected for almost my entire life. This was an odd discovery, considering I grew up in

a safe home where I was loved and encouraged on a regular basis.

What I realized was that the way love was shown in the home was not the primary way I received love. I need words and quality time to feel loved, but acts of service and provision was the main way love was shown to me. As a result, I felt neglected.

And it turns out those feelings of neglect were driving me to pornography. Porn is a fake connection. It temporarily medicated my feelings of neglect.

While viewing pornography IS a behavioural issue, the reasons why you’re watching are the real problem.

They’re also the greatest clue to your solution.

Because once you tackle root issues, the behaviour takes care of itself.

It’s been over 5 years of freedom since I made that life-changing discovery. Once I

began processing the pain of neglect, reached a place of forgiveness for what

happened, and found healthier ways to find connection, my life has been radically

different. I’ve started a business, married the girl of my dreams and travelled the world

encouraging others in their journey to freedom.

You can experience this kind of freedom, too.

All it requires is bravery to look inside, a willingness to own the issues, and a trusted

guide to lead you through the process.

That’s why I’ve created DeepClean™, a program that helps men get free of

pornography through a proven step-by-step process. It took me 15 years to find out

what really works, and I want to share all I’ve discovered with men who want to be

better husbands, fathers and men of God.

If that’s you, don’t spend another day struggling. I set aside time every week to chat

1-on-1 (free of charge) with people who are serious about getting free of pornography.

Reach out and get the help you deserve.

Sathiya Sam

Founder of DeepClean™

www.sathiyasam.com

Call our prayer lines at anytime – day or night: 1-866-273-4444 

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